Full Flavour Behaviour!

end of the week special - times comedy
thursday again, wow

In the absence of anything interesting happening today (Desmond has taken Ava camping for the weekend in South Africa.. oh, and closing a business deal, too) I’m going to share a little something I’ve been cooking up specially for you guys! Just to prove to you that my job is a barrel of laughs, I’ve kept all the best examples of quality journalism for your edification. Remember, since the Guardian was gagged by the Government, this is Swaziland’s only newspaper, and thus has a duty to combine elements of the Independent, the Mail, the Sun and even the Sport..

  • Officers, trying to arrest an unlicensed pub landlord, get beer poured on them by angry patrons..
    In mitigation the four all pleaded for leniency claming that they were dead drunk on the day in question and that they never meant to do what they did.

  • And then, the next day..
    A sheeben King at Logoba did the unthinkable yesterday when he said that he would pay the E400 fine for his patrons who were arrested for spilling umcombotsi over three police officers, as they are his bonafide patrons at his sheebeen.

  • Sometimes, tautology is just the way to go:
    Justice Masuku said he was shot and killed by the use of a firearm

  • Old man found harbouring prostitutes..
    “I am sometimes tempted to sleep with them but because I have self esteem and my senses are all functioning I desist from doing such a thing which might invite trouble for me,” he said.

  • The unluckiest man in the whole world..
    The Mbatha family has 12 children and all are girls. It has been gathered that the father could not give up without his wife giving birth to a boy. However that invited him trouble as he is now faced with the enormous task of raising all 12. He blames himself for all the trouble he has created for his family.

  • Moaning about freedom of speech, one article called for repeal of the Official Secrete Act while another told readers about a charity walk that begins from the Prince of Whales stadium.

  • This belongs in the Guardian! Lawyer evades liability by claiming he wasn’t a partner..
    The CJ said such a belated revelation cannot affect his liability to third parties as clients dealt with the firm on the basis of Thembela being one of its constituent partners.
    He said Thembela’s conduct recalls to mind the idiomatic description of the conduct of rodent passengers on a floundering vessel.

  • Sounds just like the UK..
    MANZINI – What was meant to be a culture competition for Manzini region schools turned out to be a culture and alcohol-drinking competition as some students drank until they forgot their names at the Salesian Sports grounds yesterday here.
    So serious was the situation that one of the students had to be carried by his schoolmates to a hiding spot in a bid to remove him from the teacher’s eyes.

    One other source of comedy is the file names. All articles are submitted to me as Word files, with a name consisting of a unique abbreviation of the author’s name, along with a unique identifying keyword, for example CRL DIARY Some of these are, by chance, a little unfortunate. Recent favourites have been:

    Dud cheque
    Dog school
    Luk warm
    Ale elections

    Well, that’s all for this week again folks, and, as Desmond has taken the camera to take pictures of his tour bus, there won’t be any photos either.. sorry! I’m sure I’ll be back with a bang on Sunday, however, so don’t worry too much.

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