Yes, yes, ha ha, I know what you’re going to say, especially Karen and Tom, but I have a new girlfriend. Sue me. Her name is Jackie, she’s Mexican (though working in Swaziland) and she lives next door. I’ve added a poor-quality picture of her to this chapter, which I didn’t put in earlier because Desmond looks like a total berk, and I was scared he would turn Bob on me if I published it, or something. Anyway, there you go. All ‘I told you so’ email should be addressed to email@example.com
I also promised an update yesterday, however as it is a public holiday today, the office was closed yesterday. If you think I’m paying E20 just to update this website a day early, your deductive skills, Watson, are slipping. It’s been a very relaxed weekend, since you ask, with another visit from Khanya on Thursday (habit? I hope so) and a plurality of beers in a packed Chillage; honestly, Desmond waits all season for a busy night and then as soon as he goes away, three happen in one week! Saturday I spent hiding from the cool weather at the hot springs with Jackie and a bottle of red wine.
Perhaps this was not so wise; the advanced relaxation in my every muscle after four and a half hours of complete inaction in what is essentially a large bathtub, had some sort of negative effect on something and I nearly collapsed in a restaurant that evening. It was only a passing thing; feeling faint, shaking a bit, sweating even though it was cold, and only lasted about five minutes, but it was really unpleasant, and (unsurprisingly) I limited myself to one or two soft drinks, some chicken soup, another few drinks and a little light curry, and went home.
Yesterday I spent in the garden, reading; it was nice to have the place empty for a while, and when an American couple came round to ask directions I was feeling so relaxed that, instead of frothing at the mouth and calling Bob at the very sound of their accents, I actually had a chat with them. It was a very odd feeling, being in charge of a backpackers and trying to sound authoritative about bus links and places to eat, but a good one as well. By the time they left, it was actually quite cold, so I jumped in the car with Jackie and we fetched food and videos; Serendipity (Mmm.. Kate Beckinsale), The Others (Mmm.. bizarre twist) and The Pink Panther Strikes again (Mmm.. need fresh underwear). Really, this is stupid. Rental may be cheaper than drinking, but there must be a “Third Way” for evenings in Swaziland, for crying out loud!
Anyway, like I said, a totally uneventful weekend. See what a fuss you made about nothing?
(works better with an American accent)
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