Just this evening, in a private chat session
0049.20 pineapplecharm: I have to eat
0049.22 pineapplecharm: brb
[nine minutes pass]
0058.20 pineapplecharm: god my life is just one long Clouseau movie
0058.29 pineapplecharm: I decided to make salade nicoise, right?
0058.41 pineapplecharm: simple, quick, easy, yes?
0058.43 pineapplecharm: no.
0058.44 pineapplecharm: oh god no
0059.35 pineapplecharm: for starters the cocking can opener is broken so it won't do more than a couple of turns before sticking or pinging off the side
0059.45 pineapplecharm: so I dribble fishy brine everywhere
0100.19 pineapplecharm: then I tip it into a sieve, missing the drip tray, making more mess
0100.24 pineapplecharm: then it won't come out of the can
0100.34 pineapplecharm: so I tap it, squeeze it..
0100.36 pineapplecharm: shake it..
0100.48 pineapplecharm: whoah; what's that flying ALL OVER THE BLOODY COUNTER?
0100.50 pineapplecharm: oh yes it's tuna
0101.25 pineapplecharm: so I pick up what I can and make this salad, including the hard little olives that keep popping out from under the knife and scooting under the dishwasher where they'll rot for all eternity
0101.36 pineapplecharm: and finally it's time to dress it
0101.53 pineapplecharm: I figure I can't be trusted to mix up dressing so I just pour the ingredients on top one at a time
0101.55 pineapplecharm: oil goes fine
0102.02 pineapplecharm: salt, pepper, all fine
0102.06 pineapplecharm: vinegar going well
0102.32 pineapplecharm: until the drizzle cap comes off and I pour half a £5 bottle of balsamic vinegar over my salad and the chopping board
0102.44 pineapplecharm: so I have a lake of vinegar, tuna pieces and brine on my counter top
0102.54 pineapplecharm: naturally, the only thing to do was get a straw and try to suck it up, which I did
0103.03 pineapplecharm: but now I have it dripped down my shirt too, which sucks
0103.21 pineapplecharm: I tell you, if I ever have kids.. sell ALL your stocks
0103.36 pineapplecharm: just in case they ever get jobs at companies in which you have invested
0104.07 Cyn: lololol
Shortly, in the main channel..
0104.47 pineapplecharm: you know what? salade nicoise is actually much better without the egg
0105.24 pineapplecharm: it's just like normal nicoise salad but I don't have any of the guilty feeling that I shouldn't be leaving food by the side of the plate in this world of need and hunger
0106.13 pineapplecharm: ah bollocks
0106.25 pineapplecharm: when will I learn not to type over my food like that?
0106.36 pineapplecharm: salade nicoise a la carpet is going to be disgusting
0106.53 pineapplecharm: heigh ho
0106.59 pineapplecharm: I've probably eaten worse
0107.19 pineapplecharm: woah.. shit
0107.22 pineapplecharm: no I haven't
0107.25 pineapplecharm: or hadn't rather
0107.35 pineapplecharm: it was all hairy, and that
0107.39 Bayley: STOP DRINKING!
And, presently..
0137.47 pineapplecharm: god
0137.54 pineapplecharm: I have carpet hair between my teeth
0138.01 Bayley: lmao!
0138.03 pineapplecharm: this has to be as low as it gets
0138.05 Sliquid: what was her name?
0138.08 * Sliquid ducks
0138.10 pineapplecharm: dunno
0138.13 pineapplecharm: but she tasted of tuna
0138.15 pineapplecharm: sort of
0138.20 pineapplecharm: also of feet
0138.39 Bayley: your a classy guy pac
0139.00 Skid: if you want that discussion, join #carpethairwithtunaandfeet
A minute passes..
0139.51 pineapplecharm: oh god
0140.06 pineapplecharm: the curse of the tuna salad lives on!
0140.15 pineapplecharm: I took the bowl back to the kitchen
0140.23 pineapplecharm: spilled some oil on my hand on the way there
0140.32 pineapplecharm: decided to wash my hands in bathroom
0140.42 pineapplecharm: didn't put the hall light on because of my greasy hands
0140.53 pineapplecharm: walked FULL ON into the door jamb
0141.02 pineapplecharm: smacked my arm, forehead and toe all at once
0141.17 pineapplecharm: I'm telling you, this is the last time I have tuna salad
0141.35 pineapplecharm: it makes bungy jumping look like needlepoint
0141.41 Bayley: lol
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